Thursday, April 15, 2010
No good deed goes unpunished
Growing up my mom used to say , "No good deed goes unpunished". I never really understood this until I grew up and moved out of the house. Sometimes it feels more true than other times. Recently, someone I know has been down on their luck. Been without work for almost a year, family issues, health issues, car issues, and the list seems to go on, and on, and on. I do feel for people in such situations, but at the same time there is only so much you can do to help them with their situation. The hardest part is when you go out of your way, A LOT to help them and fail to see the effort on their part to try and change their situation. It is especially draining when they dump their problems on your lap because it is "too hard" and want you to deal with them instead. I am to the point where I am feeling sucked dry and when I see the number on my caller ID (which has become daily) I just want to hit the ignore button. I want to help, deep down I do... but at what point to you say enough is enough. Or do you? I want to help others, but when you feel so burned out it makes the desire dwindle. Is there a solution? How would you handle this? Have you had similar experiences? Help?
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3 comments:
Oh my have I have been going through this lately! In fact, I have hit the ignore button because, frankly, I just can't deal with it sometimes. I'm not sure what advice to give. It sounds like your situation is slightly different than mine. When asked for help I've just had to say no, I'm busy...even if that means I'm just home playing with my child. It is so draining. I wish I had more words of wisdom for you! I at least can empathize if that means anything!
I've dealt with this. Sometimes you have to step back and think, "am I helping, or am I enabling?" If they aren't willing to do what they can, if they don't have a large group of people they are asking to help, then it has become enabling. As hard as it is, you have to start putting it back in their court. These are their problems to solve not yours. I know this goes against the grain for women, because we never see a problem we don't feel we need to solve! and to what Christiana posted, you should take out the even and replace it with ESPECIALLY!
Well, if they ever find your blog that may just solve the problem. ;)
Congrats on the friendliest neighborhoood IN THE WORLD!!!
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